help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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