Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
