I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize