is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
