fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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