I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
