I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
