I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
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