Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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