saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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