My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I feel like a drive thru vagina
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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