I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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