I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
