Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Farmville is her only friend.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
