Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
