FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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