sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
