Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You are a genius and a whore.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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