Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
