Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
