we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
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I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
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Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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