I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
