So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
