She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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