I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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