im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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