Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
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he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
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Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?