At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me