Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
