so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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