So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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