Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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