Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
