ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
