dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
