I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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