dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
