Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
sick fucks of a feather flock together
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
