Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
