Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
