So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
