did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
