East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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