Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
