my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
