i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
