the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
