what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
This house was built for laser tag.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize