Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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