I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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