She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
