He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
