no, he came in my armpit
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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