I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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