so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
