I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
