quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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