I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
