I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
