I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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