I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
