Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
