he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
