Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I want her autograph on my taint
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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