i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
